The Secret of Ella and Micha Chapter 10

EllaI basin remember the first date I wanted to flatter Micha as clearly as the day I found my mother dead. Both times were equally as terrifying, just in two several(predicate) charges.Micha and I had been sitting on the hood of his gondola car at our secret malignment tucked onward in the trees, gaze place at the lake. It was harder than hell to witness plunk for to the posture, however the view and serenity made it worth it.It had been quiet betwixt the two of us for a while, which was normal except for the jealousy stir inside me oer Michas latest hook up, Cassandra. Id neer felt this way before and it puzzled me. It wasnt same the girl was eitherthing special to Micha, merely hed told Ethan that she had the capability to be girlfriend material and it was bugging me.Michas arms were tucked under his foreman and his eyeball were shut as the sunlight beamed floor on him. His shirt had ridden up and I could suck in his tattoo peeking unwrap. As I regard d at it the urge to run my finds along it drove me crazy.I dont exchangeable Cassandra, I abruptly s portiontered turn up, sitting up fondly.Michas eyebrows knitted as his smelling step by step opened against the sunlight. Huh?That Cassandra girl you were talking rough the other day, I said, sta peal out at the water rippling in the gentle breeze. I dont view you should date her.He rose up on his elbows. Because you dont analogous her?No I tucked strands of my auburn bull out of my eyes. I just dont want you to date her.The wind filled the silence. Micha sat up and wrapped an arm close to my shoulder.Okay, I wont, he said as if it was as simple as breathing.I mashed sticker a smile, non fully understanding why the hell I was so happy. Micha lay back good deal and drew me with him. I rested my item on his chest and listened to his heart beating, steady as a rock, distant mine which was dancing inside my chest.The longer I stayed in his arms, the more than content I became. I felt safe, give c ar null could contuse me, but I was in complete denial that I was beginning to take place in love with my best friend.***Its been a week since the car racing incident and Ive been hiding out in my bedroom aliveness on mac n cheese and Diet Dr. Pepper. Dean still hasnt capitulumed home, but Lila did the morning after the race. She wanted to stay, but I didnt want her to and I conceive her dad wasnt too keen on the idea either.Its been kindly of l unrivaledly, though.I still foxnt listened to Michas personamail, and the constant flashing on the screen torments me. I decide to take a break from the house today and do something Ive been concocting to do for a while. I want to sketch my mothers fret because I wont always be close enough to visit it. Its been bothering me the entire eight months that Ive been g star and only(a). I feel guilty because it was me who put her in that location and consequently I just left her.I collect my sketch pho nograph record and pencils from the drawer of my night stand, slip on my shoes and sunglasses, and indicate out the front adit where Im less likely to run into Micha. Its a unattackable day and the blue sky glitters with sunshine. I walk up the paving toward Cherry Hill and decide to make a last endorsement spot at Gradys.I knock on the trailer penetration and Amy, the nurse, answers it wearing blue scrubs. Oh, hi Ella, I dont think Gradys up for any visitors today, sweetie.solely he told me to stop by, I evidence stupidly. I f ar its a little later than I told him and Im sorry.Hes not mad at you, Ella, she says kindly. Ive just got him hooked up on oxygen and hes got a cough.I shield my eyes from the sun and st ar up at her. Is he o.k.?She sighs, leaning against the doorframe. Hes just having a rough day today, but try back in a few days, okay hun.I nod and back coldcock the steps as she shuts the door. I st atomic number 18 helplessly at the back window which leads to Gradys room. Hes sick and theres nothing I discount do. I contrive no control over this. Micha was right. I cant control everything.As horrid images of my mums death flash by my head, I run into the field and throw up.***The towns cemetery is located up on Cherry Hill, which on radical is quite a hike, but I enjoy the break from the reality of life. There is no one up there there hardly ever is. I push through the gate and situate by a tree right in front of my moms headstone. Its a small cemetery bordered by trees and the the skinny is covered with dry leaves.As I sketch the lines of the fence and the vines that whorl it, I angle downward and draw the curve of her tombstone. I go bad lost in the movements, adding wing to the side of it, because she was always so hypnotized with ephemeral.A few weeks before her death, my mother begged me to go on a walk with her. I gave in even though I had plans that day. It was queer and the communication channel smelled like cut gr ass. It felt like nothing could go wrong.She wanted to go to the bridge so we walked all the way crosswise town to the lake. When we arrived there, she climbed on the railing and spread her reach out to proportion as her long auburn fuzz flapped in the wind.Mom, what are you doing? I said, reaching for the back of her shirt to pull her down.She sidestepped down the railing out of my reach and stared at the water below. Ella May, I think I can fly.Mom, stop it and contain down, I said, not taking her very severely at first. besides when she turned her head and looked at me, I could see in her eyes that she wasnt joking. She really be cunningved she could fly.I tried to stay as composed as possible. Mom, please get down. Youre scaring me.She shook her head and her legs wobbled a little. Its okay honey. Ill be fine. I can feel it in my personate that I can fly.I took a cautious step toward her and my foot bumped the curb of the bridge. The cement rubbed my toe raw and I could f eel argument oozing out, but I didnt look down at it. I was too shitless to take my eyes off her. Mom, you cant fly. People cant fly. hence maybe Im a bird, she said seriously. Maybe I have wings and feathers and they can carry me extraneous and I can become one with the wind.Youre not a bird I shouted and reached for her again, but she hopped onto one of the beams and laughed like it was a game. I tugged my fingers through my hair and steadied onto the railing. It was a far fall, one that would crush our bodies on impact, even in the water. I braced my hands on the beams higher up my head. Mom, if you love me at all, youll get down.She shook her head. No, Im sledding to fly today.A truck rolled up and stopped on the middle of the bridge as I inch toward her. Ethan jumped out and didnt so much as flinch at the scenario. Hey, Mrs. Daniels. Hows it going?I gaped at him and hissed, What are you doing?He ignored me. You know its not really safe out there.My mom angled her head to the side. I think Ill be okay. My wings will carry me away.I was mortified, but Ethan didnt miss a beat. He rested his arms on the railing. As much as that could be true, what if its not? Then what? I mean is it really worth the risk?I glanced back at my mom and she looked like she was weighing the options. She stared at the dim water below her feet and and so at the bright sky above her head. Maybe I should think about it for a little bit.Ethan nodded. I think thats likely a good idea.She made a path across the beam and plant her feet on the railing. Ethan helped her down and we got her into the backseat of his truck. She fell drowsing(prenominal) within minutes and I slumped my head back against the chair.How did you do that? I asked quietly.One of my friends was tripping out of their mind one night and I had to talk him out of bound off the roof, he explained. It was all about making her realize that there was more than one scenario.I nodded and we stayed quiet for the res t of the drive to my house. Ethan never brought it up to me, nor did he treat me differently and I was grateful for it. subsequently a doctors visit, it was determined that my mother had started to suffer from Delusions of Grandeur, which happens sometimes in bipolar patients.I finally pull away from the drawing when its nearly dark. I gather my sketchpad and pencils and head down the hill. In front of the arch constrict entryway is Micha, sitting on the hood of his moms car, wearing jeans, and a dimmed and red plaid shirt. His head is tipped down and wisps of his blonde hair cover his forehead as he messes around with his phone.I stop a little ways off from him. What are you doing here?His eyes lift from his phone. Im waiting for you.How did you know I was here?I byword you leave with your sketchpad and head this way, so I came up to check on you.I take a tentative step forward. How long have you been sitting here?He slides off the hood and puts his phone away. For a while, but I didnt want to disturb you. You looked too peaceful.I press my lips together and stare at him, craving to sketch him like I utilise to. He would sit on my bed and it was like he possess my hand. Look, about the other night, I think He strides across the grass toward me, moving so impulsively that theres no time to fight as his finger covers my lips. Just let it be for a while, okay?Uncertain of his exact meaning, I nod anyway.He lets his finger fall from my lips, trailing a line down my chest, finally pulling away at the bottom of my stomach. You want a ride home? His voice comes out ragged.I glance at the grey sky and the birds flying across it. That would be nice. Thank you.MichaShes preoccupied during the drive and so am I. I was so pissed off about my father that I got into the car about to do something reckless, however, then I saw Ella range down the street, and I followed her. The way she walked was very entertaining, her auburn hair blowing in the wind, and the way she swayed her ass in the short denim shorts she was wearing. It sootheed me down watching her sit up on the hill and draw, but I cant stop thinking about the phone conversation.We should go someplace, I say when we drive onto the main road.Ella jolts in her seat and turns away from the window. I should probably go home.Come on. I pout, hoping itll win her over. Just come with me somewhere and we can relax.Shes tempted. Where exactly?I turn the volume of the stereo down and let my arm rest on the top of the steering wheel. To our spot by the lake.But it takes forever to get there. Her eyes rise to the dark sky. And its acquiring late.Since when have you been afraid of the dark?Its not the dark Im afraid of.I sigh and downshift. Come on, just you and me. We dont even have to talk. We can just sit in silence.Fine, she surrenders, tossing her sketchpad into the backseat. Just as long as you dont ask me questions.I hold up my hand innocently. Scouts honor. Ill keep my questions to mysel f.Her eyes narrow. I know youve never been in the scouts before.I laugh, feeling the insistence lift from my chest. It doesnt matter. Ill keep my questions to myself, but with everything else, all bets are off.She pretends to have an rape on her nose, but really its to obscure her smile and it makes me smile myself.***Its skunk black by the time we reach our spot on the coast thats secluded by tall trees. The moon reflects against the water and the night air is a little chilly. I get my jacket out of the ashes and offer it to Ella, knowing shes cold because of the goosebumps on her arms and the way her tittys are poking through her shirt.She slips the jacket on and zips it up, concealment up her perky nipples. I sigh, hop onto the hood, and open my arms for her to join me. Hesitantly, she climbs onto the hood, but waistcloth at the front, with her feet propped up on the bumper, gazing out at the water.I photograph down by her and keep my knees up, resting my elbows on them. What are you thinking about?Her eyes are huge in the moonlight. Death.What about death? I wonder if were finally going to go back to that night.That Gradys going to die, she whispers softly. And theres nothing I can do about it.I brush her hair back from her forehead. You make to stop worrying about everything that cant be controlled.She sighs and leans away from my hand. Thats just it, though. Its all I can think about anymore. Its like this fixation I have no control over which makes no sense because Im fixated on controlling the uncontrollable. Shes breathing wildly.Shit. I need to calm her down.Hey, come here. I loop my arms around her waist and lie her down on the windshield with me. She rests her head on my chest and I play with her hair, breathing in her vanilla scent. Do you remember when you immovable that it would be a good idea if you climbed up the scaffolding in the gym?I wanted to prove to Gary Bennitt that I was as difficult as the boys. She buries her face into m y shirt, ashamed. Why do you remember everything?How could I parry that? You scared the hell out of me when you fell. Yet, somehow you managed to land on the advance just below it.I thought I was going to die, she murmurs. I was so stupid.You werent stupid, you just saw life at a different angle, I say. Ive always envied you for it. homogeneous when you used to dance in a room where no one was dancing or how you stuck up for people. But there was always that ring you put up. You would never let anyone entirely through.Shes soundless for a while and I expect for her to push me away. But she sits up and hovers over me, her hair veiling our faces. Her breath is ragged, like shes frighten out of her mind.I opened up to you once, she whispers. When we were here in this spot doing this same thing.I cant take my eyes off her lips. Im not authorized what youre talking about.She licks her lips. I told you I didnt want you dating Cassandra.Cassandra Oh, was that what that was about? I start to laugh.Whats so funny? she asks, but I cant stop laughing. She pinches my nipple and I jerk upward, smacking my forehead against hers. Ow. She blinks, rubbing her forehead and a laugh escapes her lips. Tell me whats so funny.She looks beautiful, trying to be pissed, when deep down shes relishing the moment. Im enjoying myself, which I didnt envisage tonight, but if anyone can cheer me up, its her. Like when my dad left and she caught me in the garage, clutching onto his tool box crying like a baby. She gave me her Popsicle and then just sat there with me until I ran out of tears.I eye her over and she fusses with her hair self-consciously. With one quick movement, I flip us over so my body is covering hers. When I told Ethan about that day when you told me not to see Cassandra, he told me you had a thing for me. Hes usually not right about those things.I didnt have a thing for you, she argues. I just didnt want anyone else to have a thing for you.Youre adorable when you deny the truth. You always have been.Micha, I used to have studs on every item of clothing I owned and enough black eyeliner to make an entire sketch. Thats not adorable.It is on you. I wink at her.She shakes her head and pokes a finger at my chest. Dont try and use your player moves on me.We remain silent, frozen in the moment, until I finally speak again. I have an idea. Curiosity slowly takes over her face as I shift over her body. My arms are at the side of her head, barely holding my weight up. My face hovers above hers, our lips only an inch apart, and she lies perfectly still. I want to kiss you.She shakes her head promptly. I dont think thats a good idea.I trace one of my fingers over her lips. Ive been going about this all wrong. I cant force myself on her. I have to move slow and think of her as a skittish cat that needs to be approached cautiously.Just kiss. I protest to God thats all well do. I move my finger away from her lips. And kissings not that scary, right?With you i t is, she says truthfully.If you want me not to, just say it. Taking my time, I leisurely lower my lips toward hers.She stays stationary, her big green eyes targeted on my mouth. Slowly, so she has time to let her thoughts slow down, I caress my lips across hers. A small gasp flees from her lips and I slip my tongue into her mouth. Her hands glide up my back and into my hair. My body conforms to hers as I look her mouth with my tongue. She bites down on my bottom lip, sucking my lip ring into her mouth before releasing it.Fuck. Shes making this hard. I intensify the kiss as my body becomes more impatient, but I keep my forestall and only kiss her, even when she fastens her legs around my waist and rubs up against me.EllaHe said just kiss and it seemed okay, but now my body has genuine a mind of its own. Im writhing my hips against him enjoying the pleasure erupting inside me. Hes hard between my legs as he kisses me so fiercely that my lips are swollen. His fingers tangle in my h air and his tongue plunges deeper and deeper into my mouth the more I rock against him. My head falls back and my eyes open to the stars shining in the sky. It feels like Im falling or flying Im not sure, but whatever it is I cant seem to control it. For a second, I want to capture the moment, put it in a jar, and always have it with me, but panic seizes my mind and I jerk away from his lips.His eyes snap open and his pupils are vast. Whats wrong?Nothing Its just I have to calm down. I take a deep breath, my skin still tingling in the spots his hands touched.Micha nods, breathless. Carefully, he moves off of me and leans back against the window, securing his hand around mine. We dont speak as we stare up at the sky. He traces his finger along the folds between my fingers and my eyelids drift shut. I feel a wall crumble, leaving behind dust, debris, and pieces that desperately need to be put back together.***Are you okay? I ask Micha when we pull into my driveway. Hes been quiet the upstanding drive home and I can tell somethings bothering him.Yeah, Im fine, he says with a shrug and then his gaze darts to the back window as headlights shine up behind us. Although, you might not be.My eyebrows furrow. Why? Whats wrong?He points a finger at a car place at the curb in front of my house a lustrous black Mercedes with a familiar blonde-haired driver sitting in it.Oh my God, is that Lilas car? I ask.Im guessing yes, since I doubt anyone around here owns a Mercedes.Lila climbs out of the car and its clear that shes been crying. Her eyes are swollen and her cheeks are red. She has her pajama bottoms on and a hoodie pulled over her head. The last time she walked around in an outfit like that shed just broken up with her boyfriend.I think she might have some issues at home, I tell him, grabbing the door handle. She acted like she didnt want to go home.But you didnt ask her about it? he questions with an arch of his eyebrow.I bite my lip guiltily. I wasnt sure I wanted to know the answer. God, Im a terrible friend.Lila heads up the driveway and we get out to meet her around the back. Before I can say anything, she hugs me and starts to sob. I tense, not used to being hugged, except by Micha.I didnt want to go back there, she cries. I knew this was going to happen.I look over Lilas head at Micha for help. Itll be okay.He gives me a likeable look and mouths, take her inside.I nod and he waves at me, getting back into his car. I guide Lila into the house holding her weight up for her like shes ill. When I get her into my room, she curls up on my bed and hugs a pillow.I wait a minute before I speak. Do you want to talk about it?She shakes her head. I just want to go to sleep.Alright. I turn off the light and collapse onto the trundle. I need to get into my pajamas, but its been an exhausting day.My dad hates me, Lila whispers through sobs.I occlude and then sit up, squinting at her through the dark. Im sure he doesnt hate you.Yes, he does, she says . He always says so that he wished he had sons instead of daughters because theyre easier to deal with.Are you going to be okay? I ask, unsure what else to say.I will be. Itll just take some time.Was that the sorcerous cure? Time. I flop back down and fall asleep to the murmur of her sobs.